He is Gracious

Speaking to one’s fear is hard but speak we must especially when the reality before you is hard to bear. I found myself all of yesterday having to speak to my fears of losing Zeke especially with the knowledge that if he was to experience a cardiac event during his cath the team could not save him. I had to remind myself the truth found in God’s word of his character and who He is; a good Father who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within us. A gracious God who considers my groaning, gives attention to the sound of my cry and hears me when I pray.

I woke up today still having to wrestle with my fears and the Lord reminded me that He is not far from us and in Him we live and move and have our being. He sustains us and carries us through the darkest nights of our trials. There is anguish, heart ache and at times despair within me all at once. And yet I must preach to my doubt and fear and remind myself that “the God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.” (Acts 17:24-25)

Zeke remains critical but stable. Last night was uneventful which is good. He is still quite puffy. There is a limit of how much fluid they are able to extract with the dialysis machine because they are avoiding drying out his small blood vessels so it's a slow process. Please pray for stability throughout this process for his heart, normal blood pressures, regulated temperature, minimal brain bleed especially because his dialysis requires heparin to prevent clotting. For now we wait till his kidneys heal and his heart stabilizes. Thank you so much for all your prayers, support, loving messages and encouraging scripture verses. We are so grateful for each of you.