In glory with our Saviour

Deuteronomy 33:27

“The eternal God is your dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms”

“Suffering is not a question that demands an answer. It is not a problem that requires a solution. It is a mystery that needs presence. That presence is our Saviour, Immanuel God with us.”

Author Unknown

I heard that quote at some point and it stuck with me. Today I remembered it and broke down in tears still asking for an answer knowing I wouldn’t get one. Our sweet boy Zeke has gone to be with the Lord. This morning Ben and I were not expecting to fight for our boy’s life the way we did as we performed CPR waiting and praying the paramedics would quickly arrive. The next 2 hours were the worst of our lives as we watched the team at the Children’s Hospital work on Zeke franticly calling out to each other for things needed so they could get his heart beating again. In the end the Lord determined it was time for Ezekiel Jabulani Allison to come home. He had run the race well in his two years on this earth and it was time to return home.

The grief in our hearts is unimaginable and I keep thinking I’ll hear him call out for me and that all this was a nightmare I get to wake up from. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our boy is gone and we said our goodbyes in a hospital room where we prayed and sang a hymn and now we call funeral homes to make arrangements

God is infinitely wise, good, all knowing, loving and faithful. He ordained this day before time and knew the allotted time Zeke had here on this side. It’s hard to come to grips with this truth knowing we selfishly wanted more time with him and yet I rest in this truth, God in his wisdom knew when it was time for him to come home. He is a good God and he never fails us. And so as we grieve the loss of our youngest we are comforted in knowing he is home and no longer suffers as he did. I’m not sure how we will walk out this next phase of life without him but I am trusting that our gracious heavenly Father will be our comforter and provide all that we need as we look to Him for help in this great time of need.

Please pray for my family especially my sweet hubby as today is his birthday and this is not at all what we had expected to happen, the loss of his precious boy. Pray for the kids as we help them navigate their grief that the Lord would provide wisdom and sound counsel. We are grateful they were able to come and say goodbye to their little brother although there may not be a full understanding yet of what has happened. And lastly please pray for my mama heart. I ache to hold my boy once more and cuddle and nestle him close but I know that this cannot be. Pray as I grieve the Lord would give me the strength to continue to be the best mother I can be to the children I still have.

For His glory and our good, may God continue to be glorified in all that we do. Thank you saints for your faithful prayers and help to our family these past two years. We have felt God’s love through each of you.

Lamentations 3:21-26

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.